He made me feel ashamed

Wow, that really really sucks. It hurts me to read your message cus i feel like he's saying it to me too, ya know? I recently had a situation like this.. not nearly as blatant or rude but still felt like it brought my self confidence in that area down another notch. This website helps me a lot but its like.. one step forward, two steps back. Cus everytime i start to feel better about it, something happens to make me feel bad again... :/  I feel ya buddy.... But you know what.. if thats what he thinks, thats what he thinks. You cant change it. Just like you cant change your labia. (without a surgeon and a scalpel) Just move on, try your hardest not to think about it, and dont let him know how much that hurt you. Act like youre not ashamed, like its totally normal (which technically it is), like he's the one thats wierd for even making an issue of it. I say just break all communication with him altogether. He doesnt sound worth any of your time, feelings, or love. There are better men out there, so go out and find em!

K, Look at you, and at how far you have come.  I'm quite proud of your response to "embarrassed".    As far as embarrassed is concerned, it seems clear that her former b/f is deeply immature and simply not worth her time, much less her valuable sexuality.  You ladies simply must learn to understand that you are blessed to have those lovely large labia.  They are an extreme sexual turn on to anyone who is fortunate enough to see them.  Men and women just love them, love playing with them, assuming they are mature enough to appreciate them, as opposed to the media inspired child look.  Certainly, there is never a reason to be rude or demeaning to anyone, particularly in a sexual situation, or regarding body or appearance.  Perhaps you should have responded by telling him that his dick was too small to satisfy you.  In any event, the guy simply isn't worth bestowing your gifts upon.  Be proud of yourself, and grateful for those lovely, exciting labia.

Hey, I feel for you. . .

That does suck that he would make that much of an attempt to hurt your feelings.

But in reality, I think you need to realize exactly what it is. . .he was just trying to hurt your feelings.

Often, when people "break up" or "divorce", they find it hard to just "live and let live". . .instead people think of incredilous ways to destroy the other person's emotions, and feelings, really in an attempt to make them feel the same way that they are feeling, and so the process repeats.

It really, unfortunately, is just a vicious cycle.

I went through a bad break-up with my ex, whom I have a son with, and she has labia that hang too. . .to this day, I still think her cooch is sexy, and I never said anything bad about it (even when we broke up), but I did find myself doing other things to make her feel bad, just so she could feel the way I felt.

Our son is now 8 years old, he'll be 9 this year.  I am now married to a different woman, whom I adore, who also has long labia (lucky me!), and is just as sexy as they come (I literally can't keep my hands off her -- that's probably how we popped out two beautiful daughters within 2 years!).

But, I resented her, and held a lot of animosity towards her for certain things. . .things that are really ridiculous.  I've since forgiven her (and told her so), and boy has there been a huge relief off my shoulders.

We went from not talking at all. . .even my wife disliked her. . .

Now we talk all the time, even my wife talks to her, and they spend 30-45 minutes on the phone talking to each other about everything.

But it took for me to forgive her, and realize that I by holding animosity towards her, I was only creating a problem out of thin air, because in reality there was no problem, and no reason for me to hold animosity towards her -- if anything she should have been the one holding animosity towards me!

I broke up with her, and left her for another woman (my now wife)!

I'm not perfect, and don't claim to be. . .like every human walking the Earth, I'm subject to the circumstances of my own experiences, and have learned to live and let live.

But I also realize people do things sometimes for the wrong reasons, and when it's wrong -- you can feel it.  It doesn't feel good.

So, in conclusion, if he never complained about it before, it's probably because he enjoyed it, and like sexing you to be call a spade a spade.

But, now since you're breaking up. . .he probably feels like it's necessary to be mean to make you feel the way he feels (he has no idea that you probably do feel the way he feels, even without him saying mean things about your cooch).

I wouldn't condone you saying things to him that make him feel bad, since anger only creates more anger.

A wise man once said: "Kindness is the entrance to the heart of the beast."

That statement couldn't be more true.

I'm 30 years old, and I feel like I could change the world just by paying forward what I have learned in my simple life experiences.

The long and short of it is this. . .

If you're hurting. . .he probably is too.  There's no need to make it worse by saying mean things to each other.  Obviously there has to be some maturity about the whole thing, and even with maturity, instincts sometimes kick in to make the other person feel like shit, because they've done it to you.  It happens with me to this day still with my wife. . .sometimes we argue, and we both say rude things to each other that are just plain fucked up.

The good news is. . .we both know what the truth is, and we both know that the only reason we've said the things we've said is to "push the other person's buttons".  But, I have to tell you, progress is incredible, because now, 8 years later, we can catch each other sometimes before it spirals into a yelling/degrading match.  And more often than not too.  Sometimes it's her, sometimes it's me who says: "You know, that's not cool.  I understand you're upset, and I apologize, but I didn't say anything to deserve what you just said", and it's as good as squashed right there sometimes (and the makeup sex is just as good).

Listen. . .I'm gonna stop rambling. . .and the end of the day, here's what I think you need to do:

Forgive him. . .he's only human.  You don't even have to tell him you forgive him (he might take that the wrong way, since the wounds are still fresh between you and him), but just having that feeling of forgiveness on your own will make things all the much better for you (and maybe for him too, later on).  If you feel like it could be a beneficial conversation between you and him to talk to each other without degrading or being derogatory towards one another, call him up and tell him you forgive him, and let him know that what he said hurt your feelings beyond anything else he's ever said.  Tell him that you thought he liked your pussy, and that what he said was really un-called for. . .see what happens from there.

I think it may lead to some great makeup sex, and maybe the realization of what I've been saying all along. . .the fact that he just said it to you to hurt your feelings, when in reality, he loves your labia! =0)

Let me know what happens. . .

Wow, you've already got some fantastic answers here so you probably don't need mine but i'll just give a short one anyway. Basically, I agree that he was most definitely trying to hurt your feelings. His words were purely disgusting. Don't allow his immaturity to make you ashamed and set you back with regard to your self-esteem and finding and trusting another man. You deserve someone who respects you. Don't even waste your thinking space on him. I wish you the best of luck in finding your true happiness.