Bella,
I would like to apologize on behalf of the male
population for your (hopefully "ex") boyfriend's irrational and
psychotic behavior.
Like some women, some men are just as
irrational, psychotic, and act like society's social stigmata and
so-called "norms" are what determine how someone looks physically or
how they respond emotionally.
I am really deeply sorry for
you, especially since his proverbial retardation has caused you to
feel like you are less than adequate, or like you are "abnormal".
The good news is your boyfriend represents an
infinitesimally small segment of the male population that is likely
labeled as "immature" and what some people would refer to as simply
an "asshole" (namely me).
It sounds like you loved him a
lot, and unfortunately, sometimes it's the ones that we love most --
the ones who we demonstrate the most vulnerability to who end up
hurting us the most, because they know everything about us (or at
least the stuff that we think counts!).
I highly doubt that
you've gotten so many complaints, unless you've expected them
(expectations that you project out into the world have a strange way
of making themselves happen).
It's like if you're driving a
car every day and you're EXPECTING to get into a car accident -- you
probably will. . .just the laws of the universe at work really.
It's not to say that you couldn't get into a car accident even
if you weren't expecting to, but I'm sure you and everyone here will
agree that the person who's expecting to get into a car accident is
more likely to get into one than someone who is not expecting it to
happen.
On that note, I really do hope you'll re-consider
getting ANY kind of surgery, because even though you may not believe
it right this second because of how he hurt you, it doesn't change
the fact that you're fine just the way you are. =0)
I'm only
30 years old, but I've found in my time that usually when people
think the "grass is greener" on the other side -- they eventually
come to realize, it ain't greener -- it's just different grass is
all.
Like I said Bella, the expectations you project out
into the world, have a strange way of making themselves happen.
Maybe it's time you EXPECT to find a man who will appreciate not
just your pussy -- but you as a woman.
I'm sure you're
probably wondering HOW to do that given the recent events and
circumstances -- well let me shed some light on it for you, and then
you'll realize what the truth is.
First of all, when you go
to a restaurant and you order something to eat. . .do you constantly
go into the kitchen to check and see if the chef is cooking what you
ordered?? No, you don't right?? You simply EXPECT that
your food will be coming out shortly right?? Of course, the
concept of "time" here is relative as I'm sure you know, but the
concept of expectations is what I'm trying to help you understand
here.
Likewise, if you EXPECT to find a man who will treat
you the way that your (ex)boyfriend didn't treat you -- he'll
eventually come when you're not looking for him. It works every
time without exception.
My wife decided she wanted to be
separated a few months ago, and you know what I expected??
I
just expected to be able to have a good relationship with my little
girls, enjoy myself despite what was going on in my personal life
with my wife -- a few weeks later, a woman from this EXACT website
came to visit me and we had an awesome time!
How's that for
"magic"?? Stuff like that happens every day to me. Some
days more than others, but overall my life is a perfect example of
what expectations can do.
Oh, and then to make things even
more interesting, I posted a message here about our time together and
guess what happened??
Another woman who read that thread who
also visits this site frequently wanted to see me as well. . .some
might consider me "lucky", but I know "luck" didn't have anything to
do with my expectations. =0)
Suddenly, I guess you're
realizing now your situation isn't so unique anymore -- shit happens,
people say and do dumb shit, and at the end of the day you realize
your life is not over, it's just another one of those times where you
have to find "opportunity" where others might see "turmoil".
I think someone once coined this in the euphemism of:
Glass Half-Full versus Glass Half-Empty
You want REAL
opinions of what your pussy looks like??
Send pics of your
pussy to some of the men or even some of the women on this site, and
then watch what kind of response you get. . .fortunately for you,
given the nature of this site, you'll expect only good responses even
if you try to force yourself to expect bad ones. Again it's
just the way the Universe works. =0)
I'm sure you might even
be thinking it's an accident that you came across this site --
nothing is coincidence. EVERYTHING happens for a reason.
At the end of the day, you'll get over him, and soon you'll
eventually get over his snide, sarcastic, and ultimately untrue
remarks about your pussy and your labia.
If he likes women
with smaller labia, that's his choice, it doesn't mean by any means
that you're unattractive or that your labia or your pussy aren't
natural looking the way they are.
That would be like saying
that because you blinked while you were reading this, an oil tanker
exploded somewhere on the planet -- sounds ridiculous right??
Well, then you know by now that thinking something is wrong with
you based on your boyfriend said (and did) is just as ridiculous.
The only reason you give so much weight to what he said in
the first place is because he was your boyfriend, and because you
love him -- all of us do it. We're human -- welcome to the
club!
We put more stock into what people say when we love
them, or when they have some kind of meaning in our lives somehow.
Another good example would be. . .if you met a woman on the
street, and she said you were stupid -- would you suddenly start
believing you were stupid??
Of course not right?!?!
That's just ridiculous isn't it??
The same is true
here, you just don't know it yet.
Keep what you have, fuck
him (not literally obviously), come back frequently to visit the site
so that we can help you get through this rough time, and physically
surround yourself with friends who are supportive -- you might think
your friends "won't understand", but you'd be surprised at how much
people can help when you're going through a rough time.
You'll one day remember my words when you're telling your own
little girls (or your grandchildren) about why you never got labia
surgery. =0)
Take care Bella, and I hope you feel better!
- Eric
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