Trying to reclaim my sensuality.

Well I can't imagine any lips that too big, or a turn off, and based on the fact your husband hasn't said anything negative about them I'm sure they are not an issue.  I have a couple questions/comments that may help you at getting your lips the oral attention that it sounds like you would like.
 
First question, do you shave or wax?   It is hard to suck a full bushed cunt without ingesting a few hairs.  This is a real turn off to some guys (a price worth paying for me, but a baby smooth pussy is a pleasure to lick and suck).
 
Second question, do you clean up well before sex?  Cleans lips and asshole will also make things a lot more pleasurable and interesting to him.  Maybe you could start out in the shower so he knows you are fresh.
 
Third question, do you let him cum in you early in sex?  Many guys are not interested in a mouthful of cum.
 
Fourth question, do you suck him off?  As much as I hate to admit it therre are guys that want equal time and if they don't get sucked off they are not going to return the favor --- selfish bastards.  
 
Last have you told him you really love oral and just out and out asked him to do it more often.  Tell him if he will pleasure you orally that you will you will do whatever he wants ... or let him do to you what ever he really secretly desires or turns him on.  Explore each others secret little sexual fantasies, could be more fun than you believe.
 
Hope this helps

Poison,  

It sounds like there are a few things going on here at once, and very few details with which we can draw very many conclusions to help with. This in itself may be an indicator of the problem, The single greatest reason for couples having a sexual relationship that is at best, unsatisfying is due to a lack of communication.  

You said that he's never said anything bad about your labia, but has he ever said anything positive, have you ever brought it up? Have you ever given his cock a compliment?

he rarely goes down on you, and you think it's because of your pussy. but how do you act when he goes gown on you? And have you ever told him that you want him to eat you out? Do you go down on him? How often? And how into it are you (or do you act when you do)? And will you kiss him after he does?

These are all questions that you could ask yourself. But the key here is communication. this may be very hard for him, or you, or both of you because for some reason there are still children being taught all their lives that we just shouldn't discuss such things. Well you should, and soon, If you don't discuss these things you may never get past this.

Just a thought. I hope it helps.  t_d

I don't eat anything with hair on it. I love to eat and please, large labia is a plus. I also like to receive great oral!