Jack
November 5, 2009
In reply to this letter:
msg024_religion-and-sex.htm
The writer confuses Christian (a follower of Christ) with Catholic. Priests
have added many rules that are not found in the Bible. Below are
excerpts from a website that answers tough biblical questions-
www.gotquestions.org/sex-pleasure.html
Almost an entire book in the Old Testament is
dedicated to the subject of passion and sex for pleasure. Song of
Solomon is so detailed in its intention of sexual pleasure in
marriage that allegories were used to tone it down and Hebrew boys
couldn't read it until they were 12, when they became men. God
clearly intended sex in marriage to be pleasurable. First Corinthians
7:3-5 talks about not abstaining from sex in marriage: "But because
of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is
to have her own husband. The husband is to fulfill his duty to his
wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not
have authority over her own body, but the husband does, and likewise
also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the
wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a
time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together
again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of
self-control."
The feelings of sexual longings and pleasure
during sex were created by God, and marriage was created to fulfill
those longings. What Paul is saying is to direct those feelings to
your spouse and no other and make sure that they are fulfilled within
your marriage relationship, not outside of it. Notice that Paul says
if one of the partners is not living up to his or her spouse's
expectations, whether it be pleasure or time, then both need to bring
it before God so that one doesn't try to find fulfillment outside of
that marriage relationship. Because of the existence of pornography
and the perversion of sex over the years, many people (especially
Christians) get the idea that pleasurable sex is wrong. We sometimes
forget that God fashioned us for sex and created the emotions to go
with it; pleasure was intended. We shouldn't let Satan and his lies
keep us from enjoying our spouses or fall into the counterfeit
pleasure of sex that the world offers. God's pleasure is real and
satisfying; Satan's is counterfeit and empty.
The Bible says
that Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed
kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually
immoral" (Hebrews 13:4). Scripture never says what a husband and wife
are or are not allowed to do sexually. Husbands and wives are
instructed, Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent
and for a time (1 Corinthians 7:5a). This verse perhaps lays down the
principle for sexual relations in marriage. Whatever is done, it
should be mutually agreed upon. No one should be encouraged or
coerced to do something he or she is uncomfortable with or thinks is
wrong. If a husband and wife both agree that they want to try
something (e.g., oral sex, different positions, sex toys, etc.), then
the Bible does not give any reason why they cannot.
There
are a few things, though, that are never allowable sexually for a
married couple. The practice of swapping, or
"swinging/swingers," or bringing in an extra (threesomes,
foursomes, etc.) is blatant adultery (Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3;
Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3). Adultery is sin even if your
spouse allows, approves, or even participates in it. Pornography
appeals to the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes
(1 John 2:16) and is therefore condemned by God as well. A
husband and wife should never bring pornography into their sexual
union. Other than these two items, there is nothing that Scripture
explicitly forbids a husband and wife to do with each other as long
as it is by mutual consent.
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