suzie
July 17, 2006
I'm 23, and I've had a lot of sexual partners already. I've got
assymetrical labia, and one of them is embarrasingly large. Even on
this site, reading through the letters and looking at the pictures,
there is an emphasis on symmetry. It's hard to find much
encouragement to really be "proud" of what I've got. I have ALWAYS
been extremely insecure about it. I didn't let anyone go down on me
for years, and once I started to, it had to be in total darkness, as
to prevent anyone from getting a "full-on" view. Once in a while, a
lover would want to go down on me mid-day, and there was no getting
around it. I was so ashamed of my vagina, I couldn't even admit to
being ashamed of it for fear bringing it up would draw even more
unwanted attention to it. I just went ahead with it. As I went into
my late teens and early 20s, I started having more experiences like
this, more daytime, and "lights on" lovemaking sessions. One day, I
was watching a program on tv about plastic surgery and I jokingly
told my boyfriend that I wanted to get labiaplasty. He said to me,
"you're kidding right?" and I dropped it at that. Years later (we'd
broken up at this point) I was having a threesome with a good female
friend of mine, and my new boyfriend, and afterwards I had a
discussion with her about my insecurities and she told me that there
was nothing wrong with me and that I didn't need surgery. So, those
have been my only two bits of feedback, mostly because I never asked
anyone else or brought it up other than those times. But where I'm
going with this is... I think a lot of people, women especially, tend
to magnify their insecurities irrationally. Years of dwelling on
something you don't like about yourself may result in you blowing
that tiny "imperfection" so out of preportion that it totally
overshadows any hint of an objective perspective. I think that having
a uniquely shaped vulva is as normal as having curly hair. I happen
to have both. Sure, there are times I wish I could be more normal -
as if normal even exists - but I'm me, an
individual. And I
expect the person I'm with to love me for who I am, not for what my
labia look like! That's like breaking up with someone because their
eyelashes are too long, or their ears are too low on their head. It's
a minor thing, people. If someone can't look past it, then they are
obviously shallow, and they never loved you as a person to begin
with. I think it's nice that a site like this exists, I think
if it helps someone out there realize that they don't have to be
ashamed of themselves, then it's worth having around. I know this
email has been long but I wanted to tell my story, because as long as
I've been looking I haven't heard it yet. I know there are others out
there who are also looking.
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