rather not say
March 7, 2006
i have a "longer" labia minora, i went online to see if there were any procedures to remove it. luckily, i found your site. It made me feel as though im not alone. I feel better knowing other women have longer labias and they have no problem with it. My fiancee doesnt ever want to give oral sex, i really think it is because of my shape. any suggestions, i refuse to mutalate my body, but im in need of oral sex from him, any help?
Dear rather not say,
First you need to make sure that there is no other reason why he is withholding oral sex from you, like vaginal cleanliness or strong odor and such. When you're certain that hygiene isn't a factor, it's time for you to pound it into his head that you want oral sex from him. I don't know any woman who doesn't desire this from her partner.
If he still doesn't want to pleasure you orally, he owes you a truthful explanation. This is a guy who wants to marry you for god's sake. Just ask him for it and be very frank about it. Believe me, if you don't clear this matter up now, it will haunt you throughout the rest of your marriage.
So, does he give you an honest answer? If he can't do that, or if he just doesn't want to talk about it, then you're off to a bad start. Communication and honesty are essential in a relationship that is supposed to last for life!
One truthful reason though could be that he is simply disgusted by vaginas, any vagina! It's alright for him to stick his dick in, but he just can't bring his mouth near it. Hey, I've heard some guys talk like that, so I know they exist! If your fiancé is one of them I would say don't marry him, unless you can convince him to follow some sex therapy.
But what if he confirms your fear that he is turned off by your longer minora...? You already said that you refuse to mutilate your vulva, so it's him who needs to change. He needs to be educated about these things if he doesn't want to lose you. Maybe you could start by showing him this site?
Best of luck
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