Your problem sounds a lot like Anna's problem from last month, (see post # 2987). And the root of your problem is simply your boyfriend's inexperience.
Fucking is a natural act, giving pleasure is not. You are correct in trying to guide him in touching you, but you're going to need to build his confidence too.
Let him know how hot he makes you, and how much you want him to touch you, but that he needs to be more gentle. When he pulls his hand away, take him by the hand and put it back on you. if you want him to touch your pussy but you aren't wet enough for it to feel good yet, YOU lick his fingers to show him that he cant touch you there while everything is still dry and have it feel good.
And when you want him to go down on you, tell him to go down on you. Then guide him on how to do it right.
Be gentle, and be patient with the lad when you want to fix how he's doing it. And when he does it right be loud and dirty. Soon we'll be peeling you off the ceiling.