Shannel, You have it absolutely correct in your letter. Congratulations for figuring it all out. So many women fall into the trap which you describe. I congratulate you for finding your way out of the trap. I hope that your letter will inspire others to love their bodies, to become confident and happy, to love themselves, so that they can then love others openly, freely, and without the kind of hesitation, fear, and shame which you describe. Again, congratulations.